Why I don’t care anymore?
This is a hard question to answer, sometimes we go through so many sorrowful moments in our lives we just don’t know where to start, sometimes where to end. We put faith in humans, relationships and even a higher power. When something goes bad our faith goes down, never does it ever go down when something good is happening.
It’s ok to feel lost, lonely and a lack of care, trying to fight your life to stay positive only goes so far. Its ok to put your head down and think deeply, or cry for a few moments. With relationships we place so much trust and love with someone, when that trust and love is taken for granted, we lose faith. When we see a spiritual leader or someone we admire/love deeply take us for granted, we lose faith.
When you cant understand why things happen, where this empty dark hole in your chest is coming from, we lose faith.
When you run through a thousand questions in your mind to figure out what why the event happened, we still lose faith.
Before we lose faith we are tied with some kind of pain that can bear no comparison to the strongest coffee. It becomes so overbearing that we just become numb, we lose faith.
Something that happens to parents or partners who are engulfed in love (which is not a problem) – You give so much and constantly think how to make their lives better, but yet you get kicked back and taken for granted. You ask how could this person treat me this way, we lose faith.
The person whom you have given your life to serve throws your sincerity away and thinks you are doing nothing but hurting and limit their lives, we lose faith.
You cant help someone who is hurting themselves and enduring endless suffering because of their vindictive attitude, ego and pride, we lose faith.
You watch someone that would rather stand their ground and never bend or reason with someone, we still lose faith.
There is no reason that we can imagine why negative and bad things happen to us that we can see now. We are constantly let down daily, ripped apart and thrown out the window – we lose faith.
You go through so many rounds of arguments, deep sorrowful moments and questions – your tears no longer flow, we lose faith.
You see someone who is spiritual with corrupt dualistic habits, we lose faith.
your pockets are empty, we lose faith.
Someone passes away, or is removed from your life, you hold deep regrets, we lose faith.
When you are on your knees in a dark empty cold place, nowhere to turn and barely a whisper on your lips – we don’t care anymore. What we thought was once righteous is now wrong, perfect becomes imperfect and love becomes sorrow.
Negative thoughts flood your mind when faith is gone, questions turn into statements – Statements derived from anger once the sorrow dries like the morning dew.
How do we turn around? Where do we go from ‘’rock-bottom’’ or when your back is against the wall?
Its ok to talk about Karma, i.e. the three categories, Sanchita (Accumulated karma) , Parabdha (karma appears as a problem in the present life) and Kriyamana Karma (flows into sanchita karma from this life, shapes future). Karmic patterns can tell where we stand and why, but human emotions need to be conquered before we can start to comprehend these higher thoughts – but this is not an issue, the beauty of spirituality does not just come from books/gyan or knowledge, but also from the heart…
But there comes a moment when you want to understand why me? Why do I go through this time and time again? You must rise above these thoughts of control and restriction, be free from your problems, be free from your attachments. Let go of the ones that hurt you, let go of the fear that comes to you.
You lost your faith in someone, or something – your thoughts have become action oriented and your pain has turned into anger… When you lost your faith, you forgot to surrender? You are saying you did, but still you hold on to the pain, anger and vindictive attitude.
Surrendering is the only way to cure your heart, mind and soul of this pain which came from sorrow. If we do not surrender, give up – we will culture hatred, this will make us ugly on the inside which seeps through our pours.
Give up. Surrender. Walk away.
‘’Whether a man should be a householder or a monk depends on the will of Rama. Surrender everything to God and do your duties in the world. What else can you do?’’ – Shri Ramakrishna Paramahansa
Then what? Time will heal you, our cerebral nerves and nervous system is heavily linked to our thoughts. Electro fields in our brain triggers muscles, blood and senses to act in a certain way with emotions. Even if you let go, it still takes time to recover.
‘’look to me, like your thoughts I am always there with you, like the gentle breeze silently watching over you. Like the caring love at birh, I was there, I am here now next to you. I can see you, but sometimes you are blind so you cannot see me. Do not worry, I will always look after you until we join together, I am forever looking after you. Do not be bothered by what you call relationships, keep steady and look to me’’
Jai Shri,
SimpleHinduBhai
