Why do we take people for granted?

"To the world you maybe just one person, but to one person you maybe the world"

Namaste, Hari Om,

Gods blessings to one and all, may the all mighty force grant us energy to love one and all. For we all are brothers and sisters that have crossed paths somehow somewhere in our past lives, yet we might not know it. I will talk about two sides of the coin, from the person taking someone for granted, and the person being taken for granted.

Why do we take people for granted?

This is an interesting topic that happens in all of our lives, the first encounter is most likely with parents, then with a significant other, i.e. partner.

Is there a science or reasoning why we do? I am sure there are scientific reasoning that deals with brain cells and the Limbic System sometimes called the "emotional brain" or "Old Mammalian Brain. We will not dive into that as its complicated and not too simple.

Taking people for granted is sometimes done without a notice to the person "taking someone for granted", they are either caught up in their busy life, or find their life more important to stop to spend time, help or chat with someone. We often live life by the second, everything that is happening is happening now, not 1 minute before or after the present, but now.

When we forget to look at the big picture and worry too much about the "now" we overlook people, things and tend to loose focus of our goals. Life is not easy as humans are emotional creatures for the most part and live off of each other to an extent (note this is from a general point of view).

We often look at someone's short comings before we look at their positive strengths, a person can do 9 things right out of 10, but that 1 wrong thing they have done will scar their image or perception in our mind. This is a way of taking someone for granted, we overlook their value and worth to us as its covered with emotions that are wrong and temprorary but we choose to elongate the bad image. We take people for granted because we are not thankful for their contributions to our lives. Is it subconsious that we do this? Possibly, similar to a parent who provides care and support for a child, the child is unaware of how hard the parent must work to keep the house running. The child is unaware of complexities of earning income, paying for bills, driving a car, risks of time and trade offs - all the child sees is the parent and their want/desire not fulfilled, thus calling the parent bad (taking for granted). Same for a wife or husband, one might not see the worth and work that goes on behind the scenes to support a relationship.

Same with God/the powerful force, we seldom think of the good karma/things that has happened to us, we often call Gods name for the bad things happening to us, versus thanking and praising God for the good things. For Example, we pray for food, but when we have food do we offer thanks? Most do, but its a way of being thankful and not taking anything for granted.

Its sad in life that we recount someone's worth when relationships end or parting with the soul comes about. We never realize how much that person is worth to us till they leave. We often tell ourselves why couldnt I say nicer things, why couldnt I help more, why couldnt I spend more time with this person, or why I couldnt be more thankful instead of ignoring or treating them bad. We all get warnings to enjoy each other and be thankful throughout our lives, why wait till parting with someone to recount these wishes? Do it now for time waits for no one! We think someone will always be by our side, we think they will always give us money, food or love, we always think that they will never die or part. Open your eyes to that person, each day we spend overlooking someone because a tv show or party is more important we lose that one day spending with them. Dont feel bad, its normal behavior, but if the person is blatnantly telling you, "spend time with me", or "You take me for granted", OPEN YOUR EYES AND EARS! Sadly this happens with older folks, they hold the most wisdom in our lives, yet we act like they are not worth anything. This is a sad outcome due to many things, primarliy technolody. Older folks hold life long advice that can help us become stronger and better humans on earth.

We should avoid taking someone for granted, especially someone who takes very good care of us. Someone who has taken good care of us, who is taking good care of us and who will be taking good care of us should not be taken granted for. Relationships with parents, grandparents, siblings, husbands, wives and childern etc.. Can be ruined if someone is taken for granted. Some of the negative outcomes if someone is being taken granted for;

The person who feels like they are being taken for granted*;
- Feels easily intimidated when they try to voice their words or ideas, because they will feel like they have nothing special to say as they fear they will be hurt or yelled at (yelling is another sign of being taken advantage of). Happens allot in many relationships, with parents and significant others. If a child has no outlet, who will they turn to?
- A parent who takes a child for granted will cause their child to withhold thoughts and feelings, shutting down when they are sad, angry or confused as they feel they have no outlet. You never get close with each other, thus building on the relationship pains - communication that is open and nice (both ways) will solve this.
- The person being taken advantage of will always put on a face that everything is ok, this false face is appeasing and they would rather do this than face intimidation or being hurt by the person taking them for granted. - This is where communication comes back in, voicing yourself will help even if you are not being heard.
- People who are being taken for granted develop fears that they dont want to talk further, they feel their worth is nothing infront of the person who is using them/taking them for granted etc.. The person taking them for granted uses tactics that causes pain and suffering that they dont even realize. - We must be careful of our fears with this, this could stem from worrying to much, You worry so much (worry about what the other person said, worry about what they meant by it, worry about how you reacted etc) that your worry creates a sense of helplessness and powerlessness. A parent that feels like they are helpless must find other ways to talk to their child, a partner must find other ways as this attitude does not grow the relationship very well.

We are all on earth for special reasons, some will know that reason within this realm, or another realm. Above examples relate how someone feels when they are being taken for granted, sometimes we never see this when we are living our life. A loved one will never say, "you are taking me for granted", they are afraid it will hurt you, but we need to open our eyes and consider how much they mean to us then spend more time to put a smile on their face.

What if you feel like you are being taken for granted?
 
In our life we give so much love and support but when we feel we are being taken for granted you could just sit down and talk to the person, you dont always have to be stepped on etc.. It is good to help other people. Unfortunately in today's world people take your goodness for granted and start taking advantage of it. So, help people but show as if you are doing it as a favour and making an exception. Make them feel obliged and indebted to you. People may call you a snob, but let them. It is much better than been taken for granted.

The person taking you for granted loves you, but they get caught up in your goodness and kindness and takes advantage of it, they abuse your love to get what they want. If you are a parent this will sound familiar around the time of gifting presents. It is always not nice to be nice. Let people know that you too can get upset and can call a spade a spade. Be polite, tactful and diplomatic but speak out your mind. Tell people clearly what you feel. They will never take your feelings and emotions for granted.

Some people feel that you are stuck with them and will take you for granted all the time, put your foot down and wake them up with your serious but loving words. Let them know of your value and worth, because you are equally worth more to them as they are worth to you.

If you are reading this post, ask your self, Do I take anyone for granted? And put yourself in their shoes, what if you had a daughter that treated you the way you treated your mother? Or (parent view) what if your parents treated you that way etc..? Or What if you did selfless things for your parenter and they treated you bad or took you for granted? Ask your self...

Consider this a warning not to take people for granted, we all need these warnings in our lives, dont wait for the hospital bed side, or a sad movie, or even parting with the loved one.

Always remember, put God first in everything we do, always have a kind heart but logical mind, we do live in a perfect world (As it was created by God), its the minds of people that are not so perfect :).

"To the world you maybe just one person, but to one person you maybe the world"

*Source: http://ezinearticles.com/?Are-You-Being-Taken-For-Granted?&id=757974

Jai Shri Krishna,

-SimpleHinduBhai